Yes, I have the great pleasure of attending a wedding alone. Well at least alone until the reception — I think. Alone for the morning, and forced to intermingle for three hours with strangers. It’s been a hot topic in the apartment this week and it started some interesting conversations with my girlfriends who are more in-tune with the wedding scene. I’ve gathered my feelings and decided that I would like to send out a PSA to all members of a bridal party. It goes like this.
If you are in a wedding and bringing a date who doesn’t know anyone, here’s the 101:
First of all, if you know your date doesn’t know anyone, maybe there’s something you can do to change that. Consider asking the wedding party if any of their significant others are in the same position. If you can find someone who’s in the same boat, there will never be a better match. If you have plenty of time before the wedding, think about going out to dinner with a few of your friends and their significant others beforehand. And if your person claims to be totally fine and cool with it — ignore them. The second they’re alone on wedding day they’re going to wish they knew at least ONE person.
Ask the right questions/get the details. What’s the plan? How long is the cocktail hour? When are you taking pictures? What is the transportation situation? Is there a gap of time in between the ceremony and reception? Are you sitting at a separate table? Who is at their table if they’re sitting separately?
Your date needs to know the details, because without the details she/he can’t make a plan. It’s scary when you don’t have a plan and it could lead to any combination of the following things
Too many drinks consumed
Your date goes rogue
Ask the right questions in advance of the wedding. Okay so you’re not in charge of when details are being decided and communicated out from the Bride or Groom, but how hard is it to ask? Not that hard. The second you have information, share it. Friends with a bridesmaid? Ask her, there’s a good chance she’ll know more than most.
Be understanding. If your date is riding solo all day while you’re with your friends, realize that they’re only doing this for you. If they get a little grumpy, let it go. Trust me, they would rather be at home watching Netflix and ordering takeout. Even the most extroverted of significant others will feel a bit like someone who wasn’t invited to the party. And if the wedding happens to be one where there’s a large gap of time between the ceremony and the reception, consider letting your date off the hook for the ceremony.
Say thank you. This day is a testament to how much your significant other likes you. This is them putting you first. They will really appreciate your acknowledgement of this very fact, and the very long day they had making awkward small talk with complete strangers.
Remember you might be in the same situation at some point.. These are all things you’d want your partner to do for you if you were in the same situation.
And if you’re ever planning your own wedding – don’t have a head table, or if you do, allow the significant others to sit with them. It’s outdated, awkward, and just totally not worth it. Google it, most wedding sites will confirm this.